My Dinosaur Mood
I was upset. I was so upset. Everything I was working for just fell apart.
On top of that, I was sick. Bed-ridden. How did this happen? Well, I thought I was fully healed. So I was using commercial soaps and what's not. Even though I am healed, I realised... I can never use chemically-laden stuff on my body anymore.
That's when I got so mad. I decided to take action. On the 3rd day when I could finally get out of bed and my full-body rashes had subsided, I said to myself, "This eczema is not going to do this to me again. From now on till the end of my life, I will use only my own handmade soaps. For me, my family, my babies. I will only use soap that I make."
That is how Fanya & Lime Natural was born. Within a few weeks, I was selling online. I thought well, if I needed this, someone else might. That is really how Fanya & Lime Natural started.
From a personal need.
I didn't think too much about it till one day a client sent me this message.
How I discover I'm worthy of love.
I met him after a turbulent relationship. I just wanted to be alone. To discover who I really am. To mend myself from the dreams that I will have to forever bury with the one who wasn't mean to be. Then, I met him.
Against my better judgment, I tripped when I shouldn't.
I tripped in love with this beautiful man. Every moment we spent together felt like a candy-coloured Wes Anderson blockbuster. When I am with him, the world is just him and me. There's no time, no space. Just us...
The rest of the people in the world just disappear, melting into the background like they are furniture or a painting. I'm not perfect. But the way he looks at me is like I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever met. Inside and out. The intensity of his stare. The piercing way he listens. His presence and aura when he includes me in his space. I feel like I'm part of his personal bubble of space and in that space... it's just vacuum. No air. Just his heart beating. His breath. His smell. He lets me into his secret palace.
His deliberate movements. When he touched me, I was on fire. Every moment spent with him is like a movie in slow motion.... The world spins around us while we stood still facing each other.
As quick as the ascend of this delirious ride was, the law of gravity made sure that the fall is just as dramatic. Every moment we stood in silence, the closer we are to reality again. I have to do something before this moment pass and forever gone.
Oh, be brave. Say it. Need something. Need courage.
Turned around. Looked at him.
"You ignored me."
"I don't get it."
Tired of pretending. Just get it out. "I like you. I like you a lot." Look on the floor. Actually... I love you. I love you a lot.
He slumped against the wall. Sad. Points to his watch. "I am leaving in two weeks. What do you want me to do?"
Nothing. I just want you to know. "Can't you tell at all?"
"There are times when I thought you might. And then you will come back with insults. You are so hard to read, you know that?"
You're not the first to say this. "I am Asian. Learn to keep everything inside."
"I can't have a relationship now."
That's my line. "Me too." Smile.
"Then we don't have a problem there."
Then why do you still look so sad? I am sorry I made you sad. "I am sorry. I am so sorry."
Whispered softly. "Don't be. Don't be."
I love you because... you are you. Who are you, really? "I'm not easily impressed and you impressed me."
"Why are you shaking your head?"
I've changed the trajectory of us. Maybe there was never us and it was all just in my imagination. "Nothing..."
When I thought we were meant to be together, now I know we were meant to only collide. For a brief period. We collided. And it was magical. The delicate, fleeting moment we had was stunning. And heartbreaking. He is still in a corner of my heart. A big impact in my life. It's more than I could've imagined. I finally understood. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of great love. And I have the courage to get what I want.
I'm sad today, I woke up sad.
I feel totally alone in this world. I thought I was happy but I'm just sad. But... I'm part of a society conditioned to suppress these pesky negative emotions. Because they are bad. They are not to be shown to others or even acknowledged. "Don't cry. Don't be sad." That's what people would say to me whenever I'm on the verge of tears. If everyone says it, there must be truth in it... So I swallow my tears. I gulped my sadness down. Keep it down. Keep a lid on it. That's the right way.
This book delivered it. But do you see the problem there? Gone are the days when a book just delivers a good story or knowledge. We believe a book should do so much, then what about a life partner? Modern Romance explores this change in our expectation and how it came to be.
Modern Romance examines the initial mate searching evolution in the digital age. In this process Aziz and Eric interviewed, gathered data and spoke to some of the best psychologists, therapists, and scientists in the field. The research is pretty exhaustive. The first chapter answers the question, "Why are we so different from our previous generations in marriage?" Our previous generations did not have the kind of freedom we can afford to explore "emerging adulthood", where we get to explore getting education, different jobs, dating a few people; which results in us getting married later in life. That period in life also means geographical and social mobility. Now that women are able to have a fulfilling life, a marriage is no longer to secure financial and social stability. So the idea of marriage has become one of higher order calling from the point of experiential needs (refer to Marslow Hierarchy). When before, people settle for companionate marriage, now we all want a soulmate marriage. I really like this passage on pg 25 by Esther Perel:
"... So we come to one person. and basically are asking to them to give us what an entire village used to provide: Give me belonging, identity, continuity. But also give me transcendence, mystery and awe all in one".
Don't tell me you're not that kind of person. If you read all the reviews on TripAdvisor before booking a hotel, you have fomo. There's nothing wrong with that because we only want the best, right? No.
We cannot replace real dating experiences with the mere exchanging of a few messages in online dating app.
A dating app is meant to introduce people. Ultimately these people have to want to come together and connect on another level before calling it quits.
Technology is not all bad, in fact it is a wonderful bridge to people in creative ways but in reality we have a real world personality and a phone personality. It's easy to forget that there's an actual human being behind that device. And that the person is more than just a singular action of animated "typing..." in WhatsApp. In order to know a person better, we have to actually spend time with them. I've been told many times that dating is a numbers game. I don't believe in it. If it's a numbers game, then dating feels like the movie "Groundhog Day". I don't want to always just be introducing myself.
Like a computer game, I'd like to level up and go to the next tier to increase experience gain and unlock a new mission / weapon drop.
Conclusion? Read this book!
Below is an account of my Vipassana experience in May 2015.
I've just finished my first 10 days Vipassana in Singapore's St. John's island. It was physically challenging for a princess like me. St. John's island is definitely not for everyone. It's gruelling as the place is quite bare and basically a campsite. The ones in Malaysia have much better facilities as they are owned by Vipassana centres. I do not personally think that we must suffer like that in order to truly understand meditation or specifically Vipassana, so for those who can't warrior it out, just stick to Malaysia.
The experience is good and changed me for sure. I'm now able to look deep inside me to know what's really going on and to avoid spreading my own misery to people around me. A chaotic mind was calmed and I'm truly grateful for that.
People are constantly asking, "What can this or that do for me?". But really, what we should be asking ourselves is, "What good have I done for the world lately?"
My days during Vipassana were messy and my mind was terribly confused and full of emotions. That's what Vipassana do. Bring out all the deep rooted unresolved issues in you. To resolve. To reflect. Not being able to talk for 10 days is a blessing, really.
Lime Has Not One But Two LINE Stickers!
Does your LINE stickers really expresses how you feel as a modern girl juggling career, personal beauty, intelligence and even *gasp* a healthy relationship? No worries, our dear illustrator have you covered!
Click on the images above to get to the LINE Store. Or click on these links below to get there.
The Illustrator Among Us Has Been A Busy Bee Teaching Kids Drawings!
23rd March 2016 marks the 1 year anniversary of the passing of Lee Kuan Yew. A man like this only appears rarely and in time of great distress. 50 years ago, it was a time of great distress...
The country being where it is now, did not happen overnight. It was planned, implemented and refined to achieve the gargantuan goals. And what an achievement it was! With a dedicated and strong team. What's next?
Your living space is a reflection of your mind space.
It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found.
Stay Tuned As We Usher In 2016 With New & Exciting Workshops & Illustrations!
Can You Believe It?
Well, one of us anyway. Find out which one!
When We Actually Talk About...
He went to see the condo we will be living in next year. He talks about the great location, the amenities, how close it is to downtown... All the things a real estate agent will say when they are selling a condo unit.
Then he talks about how great the park looks. "As I look at the path, I thought, wouldn't it be nice to walk down there with our baby stroller." My heart skipped a beat, my mouth opened wide in the shape of "O". All my thoughts vanished. My mind just screamed, "Let's get married now!"
It isn't so much about what he did but the future we see ourselves together in. He thinks about me in his future. I'm part of his future. That's it - I'm part of his future! When anyone asked me how I know if he's the one, I always tell them, "Because I'm there in his future and he's in mine." When two people can see each other in their future and feels really calm and homey about it, this is the one.
Because I'm there in his future and he's part of mine!
Apply This One Change To Improve Your Relationship With In-Laws
I've heard so much horror stories of people not getting along with their in-laws. Including my own mother's. She had a tough time especially with her mother-in-law. Whom in my opinion, she despised even though she had never said it outright.
To Propel Us Into A Greatness That's Not Possible Alone
It's amazing how much time and money is spent planning and having a wedding. But how often do couples really sit down and plan for a life together? A marriage that is... for eternity. That should trump a wedding day, shouldn't it?
In The Age of Sleepless Digital Presence, I Yearn for the Simplicities of Human Touch.
I was struck by this post from Humans of New York while he was in Pakistan in August, 2015. Her words echoed in my mind. "Because wanting to be independent doesn't mean I want to be alone."
In our current state of always connectedness, we are more lonely than ever before. The mind is designed to engaged with the world . When given a state of "disengaged mind", where we are able to be with just our thoughts and nothing else, some people chose to receive mild electric shock than be with their own mind.
The ONE Most Important Commitment To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
Try googling long distance relationship or LDR and you'll get a next to nothing or a list of "how to survive" and why it's going to be great and how you're going to mature because you have "me-time"...
National University of Singapore (NUS) and Nanyang Technological University (NTU) is in the Top 20 World Ranking Universities.
In the 2015/2016 Quacquarelli Symonds (QS) World University Rankings, NUS and NTU are ranked 12th and 13th respectively . In fact, NUS and NTU are the only universities from Asia in the top 20 World University Rankings!
Well done, Singapore! This year is a year of mixed emotions. So much has happened in the year 2015. Being SG50. Death of Minister Mentor (MM) Lee Kuan Yew and the true sentiments of Singaporeans worldwide; showing love, compassion and intelligence. General Election's (GE) really emotional rally.
All these goes to prove that Singapore is truly, truly world class. Keep moving forward!
 QS Top Universties (n.d). QS World University Rankings® 2015/16. World University Rankings. Retrieved Sept 19, 2015, from http://www.topuniversities.com/
And We Will Create A Graphic / Illustration For You!
We're interested to create a graphical representation of your most compelling life story! The graphics can be freely used and distributed by you (but must be credited to Fanya & Lime).
We will also credit the story back to you via facebook, unless you want to remain anonymous.
If there's a good response, we might even print it into stickers or postcards to be distributed and we will send you a few copies!!! Isn't that exciting?
What are you waiting for? Send us your story now either via our fb, pinterest, blog or email!
Yasmin Ahmad proved it 8 years ago when she made the National Day TVC for Petronas, "Race". "Our children are colour blind, shouldn't we keep them that way?". It was a very powerful ad and Yasmin nailed it with its simplicity. Now fast forward 8 years later. Yasmin is gone for the 7th year now. And yet, we're not better than when she was still around.
It has been a tough few years for Malaysia. Missing plane, plane being shot down, political unrest... But I'm not here to moan about the past. My question is, what can we do today for a better future?
Let's celebrate the fact that now everyone has the opportunity to get an education. Education is the first and most important factor for social mobility regardless of gender . Now that's not saying everyone who's educated are better people but it does mean an opportunity at changing a person's own income and social status.
Do not be careless with other people's emotions. Do not be careless with our own emotions.
Recently, a post from HuffingtonPost by Isabelle Tessier, "I want to be single but with you" has gotten more than 30,000 shares and still counting.
Sometimes when we are in an emotional situation, what we'd really like to do most is to lash out. Say something mean. Something hurtful. Something really nasty so the person receiving it will suffer as much if not more than us. But hang on. Let's breath and reflect on this point.